Faith from the Edges

Faith and life from the perspective of me.

Archive for the tag “worry”

#AdventWord #Repent

#AdventWord #Repent

If you ask the dear one, members of my family or my closest friends they will tell you that I worry, a lot. I worry about little things and I worry about big things. So when I was thinking about the Advent Word, repent I realized that I needed to talk about my own repentance.

I am an impatient woman and that is one of the reasons that I worry. I worry because I can’t wait for things to come around in their own time, or for the news I have been waiting for to happen. I really need to repent of this. Right now my little/big worry is about my hair growing back, post-chemo. The picture above shows my head at 5 weeks post-chemo and you can see it is still just wispy. I am worrying about how long it will take for me to have hair on my head. Good gracious, I really need to let that go! My hair will grow back, when it grows back.

Repentance is about turning around and doing things differently because God loves you. I know this. Sometimes I live this. When it comes to worry however I still have work to do. I am going to have to keep giving my worry to God and repenting regularly. I know God loves me, I know I need to let things happen as they happen, now I just need to not worry about it!

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Ne Worry Pas

The dear one and I are over half way through a wonderful week at the Sorrento Centre in the BC Shuswap valley. We are both taking great courses that are good for both of us & are getting lots of R & R in as well. At the back of my head though is a countdown clock looking to next week. 

 
I am trying not to worry – ne worry pas – but it is so hard. I go to see my specialist on Monday and also have my chemo education. If things go as they should I will be having my first session next Tuesday. This is a preventative chemo just to get rid of any possible cancer cells that might be floating around. I don’t yet know how many sessions or how I will react to them.

Ne worry pas I keep telling myself. You have made it this far. Your doctors have been outstanding. All the visible cancer is gone. This is just to make sure it is all gone. 

As each day comes & goes and as my internal clock continues its countdown I am working on giving this to God. Ne worry pas has become my mantra for the moment. I have confidence in the medical system – they have done so well by me already – I have confidence in the cancer researchers who have improved the chances for survival for so many. 

I have healed well from my surgery & now I need to ready myself for this next step. Thank you all for the continuing prayers and support. Together we will ne worry pas. 

My little, not so secret, secret

I worry, I worry a lot. I worry that we won’t get the house we want. I worry that we will be able to pay all of our bills. I worry that I won’t find another job that will let my creativity shine. I worry and I worry a lot. The dear one knows this, my children know this and many of my friends know this and now all of you know this. I worry.

It is not my best characteristic at all. I am not proud of how much worrying I do. This Lent I am trying to face this worry in the face and give it over to God. I need to find a way to decrease the anxiety that permeates much of my life.

When the anxiety and worry take over my life I begin to get all carpy with the dear one, I forget things I said I would do, and I sleep terribly. Yep worry sucks big time!

I am working on letting the worry go and having faith that it will all work out the way that it is supposed to do and that we will not be abandoned by God.  I am trying to remember to breathe before I blurt out my worry. I am trying to make space for healthy, positive thoughts and not let the negative, anxious thoughts take over. I am trying to give up worry for Lent as I know that it sucks away my spiritual health.

There you know my little, not so secret, secret. I am a worrier who needs to remember what her best friend told the dear one I should do years ago – Lighten Up!

What do you need to give up to make space for improved spiritual health?

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