This is me this afternoon after having had a crazy busy last few days. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the busyness but for some reason my body just doesn’t. Over the last few months I’ve realised that I am settling into a ‘new normal’. This is my new normal after cancer.
When I was in cancer treatment & after I saw a therapist regularly. I highly recommend that if you are going through treatment that you find someone professional to talk to. My therapist told me that I would know when I was moving into my new normal. By that she meant I would be through the processing of all that had happened to me. Not surprisingly she was right. I’m not angry anymore or in the immediate grief or surprised. I’m okay with what happened. I’m grateful it got caught so quickly. I am learning to live with the after effects.
My new normal looks like this: my energy levels are lower, my feet will always be effected by peripheral neuropathy, I will have to take more medications to deal with that, I will be considered a cancer patient for another 4 years, and I can never walk barefoot again. So my new normal.
It isn’t what I had hoped but it is what I have. Here’s the good news, I’m alive! I have family & friends who are always there for me. My new normal isn’t what I had before diagnosis but it is still a gift. It is a gift to be alive & to continue with the work I have been called by the church to do.
Here’s what I know. I have to take rest days. I can’t function without them. I have to not beat myself up about not getting done everything that I used to get done. I’m still loved, I still do much of what I love, I am on the way to being healthy. The new normal isn’t that bad.
I’m sure this isn’t the last transition I will ever have to go through. I, also, haven’t done this alone for which I’m most grateful. For now I will live with my new normal and look forward to the time when it is just my normal. By then I won’t even remember that it wasn’t my normal at all.
Anyone else got a new normal?