I believe, you believe, we believe. But what is belief? What does it mean? Before I got really sick, the dear one preached a sermon explaining the word believe. That to believe is to trust. Trust in God, trust that Jesus is walking with you, to trust your community – to believe in all of that. When I was sickest from the chemo because of my cancer, I hung on to that. I had to I had little else to hang on to at that moment. I had to believe, to trust, have faith that I was going to get through all of it and come out the other side.
It was trusting that the light would return, that God’s grace would be enough, that my community would continue to pray for me, that the medical people knew what they were doing. Trusting that I would get through it all.
Today’s Advent Word, believe struck such a nerve today because I realized how much I had hung on to that trust. I trusted that others would pray for me when I couldn’t pray. I trusted that even when the pain in my feet from the neuropathy was so bad I was crying that Jesus was holding me tight. I trusted that I would get through this horrible thing called cancer. I believed. I believe that the light will return. I believe that I will get my life back. I believe.