I lost a friend this week. She didn’t die, she decided to stop being my friend. This friend got me through a lot in the year following my mother’s death. I came out stronger in that year because of that friendship. I was a good friend as well. I helped this friend through some nasty stuff when she decided it was time to leave her abusive husband. She taught me a lot about domestic violence and its impact on the children of the marriage, on other family members and on friendships. She taught me a lot about standing up for what I know is right and true. She was a good friend. I am grieving the loss of this friendship.
It is not important what I did or what she did. The friendship has ended and it has ended badly. There are hurt feelings on both sides. I am not sure that we will be able to come back from it at all. I am sad and dismayed that it has come to this point. My chain of friends has been broken and my heart feels like it is breaking as well. It will take time to get over this.
What have I learned? No matter how carefully I craft what I want to say it will be misconstrued. That standing up for what one knows to be right can be costly, this costly. That I still love my friend and will always love her even if she doesn’t know or want to hear from me. That God is there in the midst of all this messiness even when I can’t see how. That while anger will burn hot and fast, grief will burn slow and longer.
I will miss my friend. I will grieve what we have lost. I will pray that reconciliation can happen.