What to do?
I am really struggling at the moment to hear God in the midst of what is going on with us during this time.
I have been struck down before. When my mother was killed in a car accident almost 27 years ago I was so grief stricken I could hardly move. However I still could hear God at that time. I could hear God through my family, our friends, Mum’s friends, through my church community. May be that’s the difference this time around – where is the community?
Now I know that many of you reading this will say that you are my community and you are. But with this time of loss and grief I don’t seem to have a physical community. I don’t have many around who I can lean on and ask to pray for me and with me. I don’t have a church community that I can sit and be in and allow the worship to heal me. I have been pushed so far to the edges personally and professionally that I can’t hear God at the moment. I am finding it difficult to pray – even to lead grace at our family meals. It is probably because I can’t find much to be thankful for at the moment. I am trying but it is just so hard.
I am asking myself this question: what to do? what to do?
Do I just sit and mope – not really my style for those that know me. Do I complain and moan – seem to be doing a lot of that on here and not sure I can find a better way of doing that.
No I am going to take this situation and look for something better. A better place to live. A better work opportunity for both the dear one and for me. I am going to try and find a way to pray even when it is hard to do. I am going to wait in hope for a new church community to belong to soon.