Faith from the Edges

Faith and life from the perspective of me.

Why I am not giving anything up for Lent

Giving up or taking something on for Lent has been part of my faith life since I was a teenager. This year I have decided that I am not going to do that.

I am not giving anything up because there has been much that has already left my life.

A little background for those who don’t know the story is probably helpful at this point. I am married to a wonderful man who also happens to be an Anglican priest. In June 2010 he was put on medical leave for an ongoing depression by our bishop. It was and continues to be hard for us. After 24 years of going to church, being part of a parish, providing leadership this was all taken away from him and then eventually from me. It quickly became clear that I was not welcome to be part of our parish anymore. That I was a reminder of things that had gone dreadfully wrong – for my husband, for the parish leadership and mostly for our family. So I have lost a community and at this point do not have another one.

I have decided that this Lent I will sit with my grief and look for hope. I will pay attention to the small joys and not look for anything big to happen.  I will continue to nurture those that I can. I will give thanks for my online community who have been a rock through this time.

I will walk through the desert time.


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11 thoughts on “Why I am not giving anything up for Lent

  1. Blessing on you both as you walk through this wilderness time.

    “When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.” Isaiah 43:2

  2. All shall be well.
    All shall be well.
    All manner of things shall be well.
    Julian of Norwich

    Sometimes, for me, these words are what sustain me when ‘well’ is a long way off. May they be so for you too, dear friend and sister.

  3. Thank you both. As I said in the post – it is my online community that is keeping me going at the moment and you are both a big part of that community.

  4. I am struck by the large numbers of good and faithful folks who find themselves on the margins…am not sure what that means, but it seems significant. Not least for the health (or lack thereof) of the institution…

    Be gentle with yourself. May you see signs of hope each day – and know they are as real as any of the barren and nasty ‘stuff’.

  5. Rita Johnston on said:

    Hi Fiona,
    I had no idea. I am happy that you can share your thought with friends and family because that is very important. Depression is a terrible thing and I know it all too well. Have been there and struggling myself which is an ongoing thing.

    It is my friends and family that keep me alive through their love and support. I am off for 2 weeks as of now and I hope to do some searching myself. This year is the first year I am giving something up for lent. No sweets except for ice cream. This is a goal for me because I have difficulty attaining some goals. It is a start for me.

    I wish for you and Hugh the strength in each other, to be strong in love and support.
    You can know that I will be here for you both. I know that we have seen each other only a few times over the years but when we do meet it is like we have never been apart.
    True Friends for many years and many more to come.
    Love to you both.

  6. Thank you Megan & Rita. Megan, you are so right about the health of the institution, it has me concerned as well. Rita, you are so important to me. My heart is full of gratitude for you all.

  7. Dan Jorgensen on said:

    Hi Fiona,

    I’m finally getting to reading your blog. After reading the first entry I’d say you have taken on something for Lent my dear – a blog.

    Some people keep everything bottled up. People like you and I can’t do that. We find our healing by communicating our pain so, rock on sister ‘;0)


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